Life Is Great

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3 Minute Management Course Lesson

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Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up

her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a

toweling runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the

next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, " I'll give you $800

to drop that towel. " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her

towel and stands naked in fronton Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her

$800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back

upstairs When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, " Who was that? "

" It was Bob the next door neighbor, " she replies. " Great! " the husband

says, " did he say anything about the $800 he owes me? "Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your

shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable

exposure.

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Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,

forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After

controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,

" Father, remember Psalm 129? " The priest removed his hand. But, changing

gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "

Father, remember Psalm 129? "The priest apologized " Sorry sister but the

flesh is weak. " Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his

arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "

Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory. "Moral of the story: If

you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

lesson

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Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking

to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes

out. The genie says, " I'll give each of you just one wish. " " Me first!

Me first! " says the admin clerk. " I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a

speedboat, without a care in the world. "Puff! She's gone. " Me next! Me

next! " says the sales rep. " I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the

beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the

love of my life. "Puff! He's gone. " OK, you're up, " the Genie says to the

manager. The manager says, " I want those two back in the office after

lunch. "Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

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Lesson 4: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small

rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, " Can I also sit like you and do

nothing? "The eagle answered: " Sure, why not. "So, the rabbit sat on the

ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped

on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing

nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson 5: A turkey was chatting with a bull. " I would love to be able to

get to the top of that tree, " sighed the turkey, " but I haven't got the

energy. " " Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings? " replied

the bull. They're packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked at a lump of

dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest

branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached

the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly

perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who

shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: BullS*** might get you to the

top, but it won't keep you there.

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Lesson 6: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the

bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying

there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay

there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The

dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all Warm and happy, and

soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came

to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the

pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the

story:(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy(2) Not everyone who

gets you out of sh*t is your friend(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's

best to keep your mouth shut! This ends the 3-minute management course