Are You Okay?

I'm Here for You

I cannot ease your aching heart,
Nor take your pain away;
But let me stay and take your hand
And walk with you today.

I'll listen when you need to talk,
I'll wipe away your tears;
I'll share your worries when they come,
I'll help you face your fears.

I'm here and I will stand by you,
On each hill you have to climb;
So take my hand, let's face the world...
And live just one day at a time.

You're not alone, for I'm still here,
I'll go that extra mile;
And when your grief is easier,
I'll help you learn to smile!

If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and "pray the God, your soul to keep."

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss you, and call you back for more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after
day.

If I knew it would be the last time I could spare an extra minute or so to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day, to say our "I love you's", and certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But, just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you, and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So, if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For, if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day...

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss, and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So, hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, that you love them very much and you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "thank you," or "its okay
.
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Love and Marriage

A student ask a teacher, "what is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.

But the rule is: you can go throught them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is a even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realise that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, heknow he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted !!!!

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked. The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is: you can go throught them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

Life's Unanswered Questions

1. How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides?
2. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
3. When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?
4. Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?
5. Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
6. If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
7. Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
8. Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
9. Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
10. Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
11. Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
12. Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
13. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
14. Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
15. If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
16. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
17. Do the air bubbles that are created when you fart in water, smell when they pop?
18. When a boy is named after his dad, he is called Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
19. Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?
20. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
21. Can you cry under water?
22. Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
23. Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?
24. Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
25. Since there is a rule that states "I" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?
26. If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?
27. If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms?
28. Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?
29. Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
30. Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
31. Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
32. Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
33. How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
34. What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
35. Can someone give up lent for lent?
36. Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?
37. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
38. Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?
39. Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?
40. What did cured ham actually have?
41. If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
42. If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?
43. If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?
44. Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
45. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
46. Can you write in pencil on an eraser?
47. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
48. Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
49. Can you blow a balloon up under water?
50. Can crop circles be square?
51. How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?
52. Why are there black lines on a basketball?
53. Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
54. If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
55. If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
56. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
57. When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
58. If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you??
59. When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
60. Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
61. What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
62. If you took a compass to outer space would it still point "magnetic north"? Is there still a north, south, east, and west in space?
63. Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
64. Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
65. Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?

Just for Laugh

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you ! Expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?

------------------

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

-----------------

Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at Home.

-----------------

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

-----------------

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!! "
Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."

-----------------

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gavel on his table and shouted, "Order, order. "
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

------------------

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
"My trouble is,'"he said, "that I keep forgetting things.'"
"How long has this been going on?" asked the psychiatrist.
"How long has what been going on?" said the man.

-----------------

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

----------------

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

----------------

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

-----------------

Man : Where are you from?
Woman : U.S.A.
Man : Are you here on vacation?
Woman : No. I'm here for lunch.
Man : What!!! All the way from United States of America!!!
Woman : No! Upper Serangoon Avenue.
Man : &*(^%#$!)*&^

------------------

A lady went to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup.
Lady : Waiter, what is this soup called?
Waiter : It is called special chicken soup.
Lady : But I see no chicken in it!
Waiter : That's why it's so special!

-------------------

Mother : Why did you throw the butter out of the window?
Son : I wanted to see a butterfly.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, ... How can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low
Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its
various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Drink Water To Lose Weight

Weight Loss Success Stories: Drinking Water to Lose Weight :

What if someone told you you could lose weight with no effort on your part? What if there was a secret to losing weight that didn't involve increased exercise or decreased calorie consumption? And what if this secret method was free and easily available to you? Would you jump at the chance to do it?

The secret to some fast weight loss without exercise or diet changes is to drink more water!

Here's where I know there must be some kind of self-sabotage involved in my battle to lose the last ten pounds. I know I should be drinking more water, and it is the easiest thing in the world to do. It doesn't involve willpower it doesn't involve dragging myself out to exercise, and it doesn't involve cutting back on calories. So why aren't I doing it?

It's not just me. Most North Americans are dehydrated. In fact, chronic dehydration is probably the most common cause of a lot of our health ailments. There are two main reasons so many people are dehydrated these days. We eat less vegetables and fruits (which are water-dense) and more processed foods than we should. And we drink lots of caffeinated beverages instead of water. Caffeinated beverages and alcohol are diuretics. They force more water out of our bodies. If a person is dehydrated their body compensates by retaining excess water as a protective measure. This alone is responsible for a lot of excess weight. As well, a dehydrated person's metabolism is significantly lower than a normally hydrated person.

Dehydration is responsible for many people's feelings of fatigue. Many people have lost their sense of thirst and mistake it for hunger. Drinking a glass of water will usually greatly reduce any false hunger pangs.

So the solution to losing at least a few extra pounds sounds easy. Start with two glasses of room temperature water first thing in the morning. Thats before you drink coffee or eat your breakfast. Try to drink some water
regularly during the day. And eat more water dense foods such as vegetables, fruits and even legumes.

I'll get right on it. And I'd be keen to hear any feedback from people who have recently tried this for losing weight.

Hands Free Phone

10 Really Stupid Questions

1. At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... Why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!