New Guidelines for Employees - Funny ~ Life Is Great

Monday, June 16, 2008

New Guidelines for Employees - Funny


It is advised that you come to work dressed according
to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada
sneakers & carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you
are doing well financially and therefore you do not
need a raise.


We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you
are able to come to work.


Operations are now banned. As long as you are an
employee here, you need all your organs. You should
not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
To have something removed constitutes a breach of


Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays and Sundays.


All employees will take their vacation at the same time
every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1,
July 4, and December 25.


This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for deceased friends, relatives, or co-workers.
Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend
to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee
involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled
in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to
work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
hour early, provided your work is done.


This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require
at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train
your own replacement.


Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
In the future, we will follow the practice of going once
each day, in alphabetical order.
For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A'
will go from 8 to 8:20, employees whose names begin
with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're
unable to go at your allotted time, it will be
necessary to wait until the next day when your turn
comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may
swap their time with a coworker. Both employees'
supervisors must approve this exchange in writing.
In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time
limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,
an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will
retract, and the stall door will open.


Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to
eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size
people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance
meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people
get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the
time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.


Yashobha said...

HAHA oh my gosh i laughed sooo hard when i read this!! i love your blog!!

Yashobha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You may probably be very curious to know how one can make real money on investments.
There is no need to invest much at first.
You may begin earning with a sum that usually goes
for daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one project for several years,
and I'll be glad to share my secrets at my blog.

Please visit blog and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per day now. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

オテモヤン said...


Anonymous said...

TAHNKS FOR YOUR SHARING~~~VERY NICE ........................................

Anonymous said...

Magnificent goods from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you're just too magnificent.
I really like what you have acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it.
You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it wise.
I cant wait to read much more from you. This is really a terrific web site.

Feel free to surf to my webpage; Online airplane Games
my site :: airplane flying Games

Anonymous said...

Me and ozzy fucked more difficult, trying to show to my own god!
FUCK YES!' just before cumming inside my warm pussy. were still fucking

my blog post hcg injections

Anonymous said...

[b][url=]dr dre beats[/url][/b] very nice, and as a result accept it an individual I starting to reach these pages. that's a nice capability and i am hoping you'll keep up the great work. nowadays, I will just get me a webcame as I can arrange a video page. view tv in relationship: but not the tedious headlines rather slow Seinfeld or Lucy reruns which happens to be just as cheeky as when were launched. search for elsewhere ruse web-net websites on the 'net or pay out ages about the store quite frankly studying crazy cards. say to tales with regard to essentials that position for your family preceding you glad in addition,yet reminisce relating to compelling occurrences a person has had considering that you first of all evolved into items,

[b][url=]Monster Headphones[/url][/b] a product packaging is certainly total fantastic. that you are sense a lot more energy sources with think about points your own within music for you to would not have any idea possessed had the experience : developed cables through process of creature, not a tangles. ' tears, regards to list unique washboard cable connection format. Dre what persons got typically the Grammy accolades on top of that ogre audio specialist social groups. who has accomplished loudspeaker style on top of that energy isolation solution, surpasses can sometimes utilize the power and an energy source in an easy method making farther along restoration around marginal pitch power. subsequently, tones can bring arrangements to point out to sole fine detail regarding steel, trendy scorching as well as,while R what want solely through sound velocity.

Anonymous said...

[url=]hermes the kelly bag[/url] UGG unforgettable upright shoes 5802 intimate increased by makes their labeled on the rear of their, which included a printing flair that a lot of a bit of overlaps, and a minimum of two authorised hallmark symbols concerned with Uggs avenue organize.

[url=]handbags sale online[/url] cheap Ugg your footwear small family members 1 of your respective land

[url=]cheap chanel bags sale[/url] staff member normal daily functioning can doesn't just be followed set up inside ones own end up being a improved upon also evaluated. customer satisfaction can really be additional as transaction invoices may possibly passed to potential clients through the inkjet attached with EPOS multilevel. like specials history generate your business interest good deal accurate the little brown eyes of consumers which like a brings about to increase take up number of may customersfaithful.

Anonymous said...

I pay а quісk viѕit daily a few blоgs anԁ sites to reаԁ aгticlеs, however thiѕ blοg offeгs feature bаsed posts.

Stop by my web blog; hcg diet news

Anonymous said...

Nice blog here! Also your web site a lot up fast! What web host are you using?
Can I am getting your associate link in your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

Visit my blog post ... pożyczki bez bik tczew

Anonymous said...

Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one!
It's on a completely different subject but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Great choice of colors!

Feel free to visit my website :: roulette online